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HTM 040 – Love & Power – How To Matter

May 6th, 2016 by Gary Crow

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In this episode of How To Matter, I explore how love and power do and do not work well together. The handout below shows Carl Jung’s perspective and in the podcast, I consider how valid that perspective is and how we may want to manage love and power in our relationships.

“Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” — Carl Jung

Don’t try to take charge of anything or anyone. Sure, you are assertive and comfortable with your position and authority and don’t hesitate exercising that authority appropriately and responsibly. The point here is that you don’t use power junkie strategies including manipulation, power games, and expanding your locus of control at the involuntary expense of others.

Do you gain more control and influence over time? Yes you do. The remarkable point is that this expanding locus of control just seems to happen without any active intent of yours. You simply end up in charge.

It seems likely that this is a product of intuitive processes that recognize and exploit opportunities to facilitate the success of other people. Your being in charge isn’t a function of power or control. It’s, rather, a function of your being in charge becoming an extrinsic but essential aspect of other people’s success. They just would not be as successful without you.

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