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Table of Contents UNDERSTANDING AND WORKING WITH YOUR FOSTER CHILD - ONE First things first: Getting started: Children who are abused and neglected: Activity One: Activity Two: A quick check: Helping your foster child with stress: 1. They are restless and have trouble calming down. 2. They have trouble concentrating and paying attention. 3. They have trouble going to sleep and wake up during the night. 4. They have bad dreams and nightmares. 5. They have headaches. 6. They have upset stomachs. 7. They cry easily and might have crying spells. 8. They lose their tempers easily and quickly. Example: Helping your foster child with low self-esteem: 9. They worry and fret about not doing things well enough and about failing. 10. They do not start anything because they are afraid it will turn out badly anyway. 11. They usually give up quickly and easily. 12. They do not feel good about their physical and sexual development. 13. They do not like themselves and put themselves down. 14. They do not feel they fit in or belong anywhere. 15. They do not feel loved by anyone. 16. They do not feel like someone anyone can love. Example: Helping your foster child with learning and school problems: 17. They often have trouble making choices and decisions. 18. They often cannot express their thoughts and ideas. 19. They cannot do many things others their age can do. 20. They often do not understand assignments and what people expect. 21. They often do not understand what they read. 22. They often get confused. 23. Trying harder does not lead to their work and skills getting better. 24. They do some assignments very well and others very badly. 25. They often forget what to do or what people expect. 26. They often do not follow instructions and directions. 27. They do not pay attention to time and do not manage time very well. 28. They get bad grades. 29. They do not ask for help or let others help. 30. They have trouble accepting or dealing with criticism. 31. They always have excuses for not doing well. 32. They usually think not doing well is someone else's fault. 33. They have to have an adult standing over them to be sure their work gets done. 34. They feel teachers have it in for them. 35. They often disrupt the class or the activities of others. 36. They do not make any effort to cooperate and get along. 37. They skip school a lot. Your Learning Plan for your foster child: UNDERSTANDING AND WORKING WITH YOUR FOSTER CHILD - TWO First things first: A quick parenting check: Helping your foster child get along with other people: 1. They pout and are hard to live with. 2. They are hateful and in a bad mood. 3. They get very angry when things do not go their way. 4. They scream and yell at people. 5. They break or damage things. 6. They hit or hurt people. 7. They start or get into fights. 8. They bully and pick on others. 9. They are cruel to others. 10. They lost interest in people and activities they had enjoyed. 11. They have trouble making and keeping friends. 12. They avoid people and social activities. 13. They only like activities they can do alone. 14. They do not talk to anyone about their feelings and thoughts. 15. They want to keep their friends all to themselves. 16. They often get their feelings hurt. 17. They are often the brunt of teasing and put-downs. 18. They get up-tight and nervous when someone is angry or upset. 19. They do not stick up for themselves. 20. They try to please everyone and keep everyone happy. 21. They feel most people do not like them. 22. Most people their age dislike them. Example: Another example: One more example: Helping your foster child with behavior problems: 23. They do not follow the rules or behave like most children do. 24. They do not accept the authority of foster parents, teachers, or others in charge. 25. They behave in socially inappropriate ways. 26. They use illegal drugs. 27. They think rules and laws are for someone else. 28. They have friends who often get into trouble. 29. They are not people others can depend on or trust. 30. They do not care if they upset or hurt people. 31. They get into trouble with the police or courts. Example: Another example: Helping your foster child with suicidal thoughts and feelings: 32. They have lost an important relationship and can hardly live without it. 33. They became very embarrassed over something and cannot face it. 34. They are not getting over a serious loss or disappointment. 35. They have lost a physical ability or skill and cannot handle it. 36. They feel unable to do anything about what happens to them. 37. They have been thinking a lot about suicide. 38. They have attempted suicide. Example: Helping your mentally ill foster child: 39. Their moods jump from one extreme to the other and they cannot control them. 40. They may go on extreme eating binges. 41. They may often vomit after eating or use laxatives to control their weight. 42. They may starve themselves. 43. They may not trust anyone and think people are out to get them. 44. They may have very strange thoughts and feelings they cannot understand or control. 45. They may have extreme fears that keep them from doing things most people the same age do easily. 46. They may have trouble having people close or touching them. 47. They may urinate or defecate in their clothes. 48. They may cut and hurt themselves on purpose. 49. They may have a strong interest in fire, watching fires, setting fires, and doing things with fire. 50. They may hear voices and see things others do not hear and cannot see. Example: UNDERSTANDING AND WORKING WITH YOUR FOSTER CHILD - THREE First Things First: Getting Started: Activity One: Activity Two: Activity Three: Activity Four: Ingredients and Outcomes: Activity Five: All Foster Children Minority Foster Children Inner-city and Other Poor Foster Children African American Foster Children Hispanic Foster Children Asian and Refugee Foster Children Native American Foster Children Finding Out About Your Foster Child's Culture: Activity Six: Culture and Development: Activity Seven:
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