27. They think rules and laws are for someone else.

Sometimes children have this problem in a somewhat backward way. They have been so put-down they do not think laws and rules will help and protect them. They just go along with whatever is happening because they are afraid not to go along. They believe they have no control over what happens to them.

For the same reasons, other children take whatever path is available since they believe they are on their own in the jungle. They need you to help them see rules and laws work for them. Teach them to get them to work for them.

More typically, you will see the child who does not have a conscience. He has few values; and those he does have are only those that get him what he thinks he wants. He learned what he was taught and it did not have much to do with laws and rules. For him, the only bad thing is getting caught. If the problem is to this extreme, he likely cannot be helped in a foster home. It is still worth a try anyway.

More common is a child on the value fence. Talk with him about your concerns and set a better example than he has had. Yelling, lecturing, and punishing will not help. They only convince him his view is right. He believes he only needs to get better at not getting caught.

He needs logical and natural consequences. What does this mean? It means, if he gets into trouble at school or in the community, it is his problem. Let him know you care but don't get him out of trouble. If people do not trust him, don't tell him they do or try to get them to change. If his behavior causes you not to feel like giving him privileges, don't give them to him. He will learn, with your help and professional counseling, the down-side of the behavior is worse than the up-side. He loses more than he gains.