GARY CROW PRESENTS

   

3. They have trouble going to sleep and wake up during the night.

As with most problems, this sign is usually not very important unless it goes on for a while. Children usually go to sleep in about fifteen minutes to an hour. The average is around twenty minutes or so. Some youngsters go to sleep quickly and others take a little longer to settle down and fall asleep. It is only a problem if it takes a lot longer than is usual for your foster child. If this happens several nights in a row or if the youngster cannot fall asleep for three or four hours some night, there might be a problem. Excitement, not feeling tired, and thinking about day-to-day kinds of things also can keep children awake as they can adults. Do not make too much of it. Still, be open to the possibility of too much stress.

Waking up during the night once in a while is not a problem either. Everyone does this sometimes. Usually, it is from dreaming or from needing to go to the bathroom. Not going back to sleep fairly quickly is more of a problem. When the youngster often wakes up but cannot go back to sleep easily, stress is a problem.

Consider this. The child may be afraid to go to sleep; and if he wakes up, going back to sleep also may be scary. Why? Much abuse, especially sexual abuse, happens at night. Family violence often happens at night. Children who live in homes where there are rats would understandably be afraid to sleep. Think about why your foster child might be afraid.

If the child's sleeping does not improve in two or three weeks, arrange for an evaluation and maybe counseling. When the child is taking his stress to bed with him, he needs some extra help.