The audio for this post includes the next section of the ongoing discussion of child protection and the developing paradigm that guides child protection practice. Please feel free to share any comments or reactions in the comments for the post or directly to Dr. Crow by e-mail.
There are obvious benefits of having a guide dog if you are blind. Included are things like not running into posts and not falling down steps. Everyone knows that. What you may not know are the secret benefits of having a guide dog. I have collected them here for you. Listen and learn.
This activity samples several areas of parenting in order to draw attention to those areas that are going well and those where there are some problems. As with other interpersonal areas, the key is to spend most parenting time and energy emphasizing those areas that are working, those things that are going well. At the same time, some effort and consultation activity need to focus in those areas that are working less well. Using a rating scale from five to one, rate yourself in terms of the statements below. Five equals almost always, four equals usually, three equals sometimes, two equals seldom, and one equals almost never.
Once you have completed your ratings for each item, add your ratings together and divide the total by fourteen. This will give you a parenting score. Generally, effective parent/child relationships are found where the parenting score is 4.0 or higher. Even when a score is achieved at this level, though, attention needs to be given to those areas where individual item ratings are three or less and especially where the ratings are two or less. When parent/child difficulties arise, the first and best strategy is to go back to this activity, focus on each item, and then work on being sure that the parenting score stays in higher than 4.0 for at least a month or so.
1. I am reasonable and fair when disciplining my child.
2. I know what my child needs and what is important to him/her.
3. I am able to get my child to cooperate with me.
4. I spend time with my child everyday.
5. My child likes to spend time with me.
6. I am pleased with and proud of my child.
7. I am familiar with and interested in my child's activities.
8. I know about and am helping with my child's problems and difficulties.
9. I set a good example for my child.
10. I give my child his/her space.
11. My child and I regularly talk with each other.
12. I am interested in my child's ideas and thoughts about things.
13. I support and encourage my child's being who he/she is and his/her unique style.
14. I am a good parent.
This activity is useful when assessing the behavior, adjustment, and functioning of a young person. Importantly, it does not represent a thorough diagnostic evaluation and should not be seen as a substitute for careful, professional assessment when a specific youngster is experiencing serious or ongoing difficulties. It is, rather, only intended to point out those areas in which a child or adolescent is getting along fairly well and those areas where he/she may be having some mild, temporary difficulties.
Use a rating scale from five to one for each item on the list below. Five equals almost always, four equals usually, three equals sometimes, two equals seldom, and one equals almost never.
Note that the rating process for this activity is not the same as for the earlier activities. In this activity, each item needs to be evaluated and understood by itself. A normal, healthy young person would receive all fours and fives. Concern needs to be raised in any area suggested by an item where the young person's rating is three or below. Ratings of two or below or several ratings of three or below begin to suggest the need for more extensive assessment and more traditional therapeutic involvements.
The Young Person
1. Is energetic and interested in what is going on around him/her.
2. Feels attractive.
3. Is relaxed and comfortable with himself/herself.
4. Likes himself/herself.
5. Is self-confident.
6. Has a normal appetite and eating habits.
7. Stays away from drugs and alcohol.
8. Is happy and in a positive mood.
9. Manages his/her temper and anger responsibly.
10. Is honest and truthful.
11. Is a good student.
12. Feels successful.
13. Likes school.
14. Finishes projects, assignments, or other things for which he/she is responsible.
15. Is well behaved.
16. Is easy for parents, teachers, and other adults to deal with.
17. Is a responsible person.
18. Is a dependable person.
19. Has friends his/her age.
20. Makes good choices when it comes to friends.
21. Gets along well with his/her friends.
22. Follows the rules and goes along with what is expected of him/her at school and at home.
23. Makes friends easily.
24. Is adventurous and willing to try new things.
25. Handles day-to-day stresses and tensions well.
26. Is healthy.
27. Will talk about things with parents or other adults.
The idea here is to look at how well you manage your relationships within your family. The better you become at relationship management, the more satisfying and useful the relationships in your family will be for you. Rate yourself on each of the seven statements below using a scale from five to one. Five equals almost always, four equals usually, three equals sometimes, two equals seldom, and one equals almost never.
When you experience difficulties in your relationships within your family, come back to these seven statements and consider how you are doing.
It will be helpful to add your seven ratings together for the seven statements and then divide the total by seven. You are on the right track when you maintain a process score of 4.0 or higher.
The capitalized words at the beginning of the statements simply give names to the seven processes. DIRECTION is a process that helps direct or move relationships in ways that are useful to you. ACTION encourages others to respond to and support your needs and interests. ATTITUDE MANAGEMENT encourages others to see you in a positive light. DISTANCING encourages others to stay close enough to you and available enough to you to be there for you at all times. MAINTAINING ENGAGEMENT is a very closely related idea that helps meet your need to always feel that you belong and are part of the family. MANAGING CONFLICT helps assure that your family relationships are as comfortable for you as they can be. MODELING is a process that you involve yourself in to better assure that others in your family will behave and relate to you in ways that are pleasing and satisfying to you.
1. DIRECTION I keep the commitments I make to and agreements I make with members of my family.
2. ACTION I think about, understand, and support the needs and interests of members of my family.
3. ATTITUDE MANAGEMENT I maintain a flexible approach with members of my family, relating to each member in ways that are most useful to and comfortable for him/her.
4. DISTANCING I am sure that the members of my family get acknowledgment, time, and attention from me on a regular basis.
5. MAINTAINING ENGAGEMENT I consistently show my interest in the activities and problems of others in my family.
6. MANAGING CONFLICT I identify, define, and work on resolving any points of conflict or tension that come up in my relationships with people in my family.
7. MODELING Within my family, I behave and relate to others as I would like for them to behave and to relate to me.